Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Don't know what to title this...

All the rest of my posts had been written in and around the past year, I don’t have the dates of when, but have a rough idea from what I was talking about. These blogs are written now and I am hoping to post one every week or two, with my progress, how I’m feeling, challenges, etc.

I can’t wait to see what happens next, I’ve never looked like this before (well I was when I was teenager, but I had issues then and thought I needed to diet), I don’t know what I will look like when I get to my next goal and then what I want to get to next. I’m aiming to weigh 60kg currently (I never thought that would be a goal for me), it is very achievable, but I have no idea what I will look like. Currently we are lucky (I say we, my personal trainer and me) that we have been able to build shape at the same time as lose weight (or should I say fat). Therefore, a lot of people are surprised that I want to go further to lose more weight and not stay where I am.

All I can say is that this isn’t how my body should look, I can’t explain how I know that, I just know this isn’t my body yet. There are still areas of wobble that need to go, that isn’t me being vain, it is fact, I will show you if you ask. Wobble is not good and the frustrating thing for me currently is I can feel the muscle underneath, I just need the fat to go and the skin to snap in to the right place (hopefully). It is also the case that 60kg is not my final goal, most likely I will want to push that further, for my height I should weigh less than that. I will be lean at 60kg, but I will more than likely want to get to the right weight for my height (wow even this time last year, I wouldn’t have believed that!).

Once again I have been lucky in that my skin has snapped back where it should be, well so far, there is still time for me to find that the last won’t go away. But we shall see, unfortunately that is a waiting game for me to see what my body does when I lose those last percentages of fat.

I’ve said I’m lucky a fair few times throughout this and I’m conscious that it wasn’t all luck, as it sounds above. Tom would not have put the time and effort into me, if I hadn’t shown my drive and commitment, why would he put loads of effort and time into helping me, if I didn’t eat what I should and train as I should. I’m not going to take all the credit, I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for Tom, he transformed my life and I can’t thank him enough, but he knows that and I don’t want to give him a big head.

I haven’t mentioned the type of gym training I do much in my blog, although have alluded to it, I weight train, I am in effect a body builder. I rarely do cardio, if I do it is more in the form of interval training or getting my heart rate up by doing squat jumps for example. I started off with programmes containing a combination of body parts to train in a day. Now my training days are split into Back, Shoulder, Chest and two days of legs, splitting the muscles in my legs on different days.

Personally I wouldn’t want to do anything else now, I love getting a personal best with my weights when it doesn’t affect my technique/form. I was forced into a rest day the other day, it got to 5pm that day and I decided I couldn’t do this and decided to go for a jog (with small sprints to raise my heart rate more), this would never happened before to me and to be honest didn’t really enjoy the jog. It isn’t for me, I can see why people do it and I wouldn’t be put off going again, just to see if I have improved at all, but that would be it. I’m competitive with myself, I always want to beat myself up. I used to beat myself up in another way, but now I beat myself in the gym.

The hardest thing to decide is your goals, until now I never thought it was possible to change my body as I have. When you are between 15-18 stone, it is hard to picture yourself other than that size. To dare to dream you could be a healthy size, feels like you are setting yourself up to fail.

When discussing with Tom what I wanted, at the start, all I could articulate is 'smaller' I need to lose weight. Not a goal of 'healthy' or 'toned' or even a desired size/weight. I just wanted less of me. After this we didn't discuss goals, until around June 2014 and even now it is difficult to say what I want. There are physiques which I aspire to like, but my body may not suit that physique completely, at just 19% body fat, I'm in a place where we cannot know what shape my body will be, we can build & focus on areas. But until these last bits of fat fuck off, it is a tad unknown how far I can take this & what I will look like.

I’m asked about how I stay motivation; Motivation and being psyched up for every training session is a tricky thing to pin point. For me it has changed throughout my journey. Sometimes a good set of songs can really help you focus & get out of your head (or in your head depending on what you need). More recently watching Greg Plitt's videos inspire me to push myself that bit further than normal.

You have off days, you have days maybe even weeks where training doesn't go to plan, or you’re not feeling it. Maybe you can't lift as much, for example. This could be for a number of reason, maybe your eating wasn't quite right, you’re not getting enough sleep , works stressful or simple a combination of things. Don't let this disheartened, this is life, in every aspect we go through this, in different guises. At work it's an off week where you don't hit all your targets/deadlines. In your relationship it's a time when all you seem to do is argue or not talk.

Sometimes they are the times which help you either fight for what you want of flee. The important thing is it is your choice and quite often makes you better for it. I'm not going to tell you that weight lifting will be your thing and will work. It isn't for everyone! Yes it worked for me, but I can't run to save my life. Cardio is not my strong point and I know that, but took me years to realise that, after years of trying many different things.

Food wise, I was given a healthy set of foods to eat, with a certain amount of fat, carbs and protein to consume with these foods. Using myfitnesspal to track. This along with tracking my losses, Tom was able (after what seemed like many many months), was able to establish my maintenance, I think my body is deceiving. Maintenance is a set of protein, carbs and fat, which can be eaten to maintain my weight, important for when dieting has to stop (I never thought that would be the case). We then worked on increasing/maintaining my metabolism, which couldn't have been slower at the start. How my body used to run I have no idea!! No wonder I didn't ever lose weight...!

Thanks for reading...

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