Know Yourself to Make a Change

A key to a lot of things in life, is to know yourself. To make life decisions, stick to decisions and stay strong. You have to start listening to yourself and know yourself. Unfortunately, for some of us (I’d say a lot of us), we stopped listening to ourselves a long time ago.

Listening to your body and your brain, what is your heart telling you versus what you brain is telling you. One of them will take control, but you control them both. You are in control of your actions and your choices. I know that life can get in the way, kids, work, family, partners, etc. But you are fundamentally in control of where your life should go and therefore, have the ability to change things.

Start asking yourself some questions (even write them down if that helps): 

• What do you like doing (YOU, not your friends, family, partner, kids, etc)?
• What do you eat when no one is looking? How much?
• What do you eat like in front of people?
• When do you eat sweet things?
• When do you reach for crisps?
• What gets you out of bed (Yes, life is a reason to get out of bed, but work in itself, isn’t necessarily right. If you didn’t have work, kids, time constraints, etc; what would get you out of bed)?

This might be easier...

• What don’t you like?? 
• What would you hate to do for work?
• What is your idea of an awful holiday/break?

These are some of the types of questions you have to ask yourself, which help you to know yourself, and possible help you towards knowing where you struggle with things. To know your weaknesses, where you ‘fail’, and admitting that to yourself, is very powerful and is easily swept under the carpet, when thinking about day to day life.

Sometimes it is a hard thing to admit or confirm, even just to yourself. But it is worthwhile trying to find out what makes you tick and what doesn’t make you tick.

Listen to yourself, your body will tell you different things from your brain. Your brain is so busy, it often turns off the body listening function and you just carry on living busy and getting on with life, never truly listening to your body and what it is trying to tell you.

I’ve written about this before, but a key one for me, is dehydration and your body trying to tell your brain to get you some water:

1. It tells your body one way, dry throat maybe, but you’re busy so switch that off.
2. So it tries again, by telling your brain you’re hungry, but again you’re busy so switch that off.
3. How about, feel a bit dizzy at times, nope I haven’t got time, this report needs submitting by 5pm.
4. Ok says your body, I’m now going to give you a headache – mmmm odd I have a headache, better take some tablets with a splash of water.... hurrah water, but not nearly enough. I could go on and on with examples, but I won’t.

This is just an example about water, but we all do this for loads of things. I don’t like my job (hate it even), so we tell ourselves this, but then say ‘yeah, but it pays the bills’, or ‘yeah, but I like the people I work with’, or ‘yeah, but what else would I do?’. Very valid reasoning’s not to quit your job, but surely the sign that you hate your job, is enough to make your brain/body do something about it; research new jobs, train in something new part time or flexibly, etc. I’m just as guilty as anyone with this, in the past.

Moving this into weight loss and fitness; making that first step is hard, finding the time is hard, aching is hard, not getting results straight away, is hard. But YOU are totally worth it and need to find what WORKS for YOU!

 

Ask for support

 

Support has been fundamental in my weight loss experience. You have to pick those people around you carefully, that you confide in and ask to support you. I didn’t tell everyone, but gradually everyone found out, by seeing results, going with me to dinner, etc.

 

Knowing myself (from exploring questions like the above), I knew that if there were things in the house I was trying to avoid (e.g. Chocolate), I would eat it! I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. So I asked my sister, not to stop it coming in the house, but if she had some, not let me know about it and hide it somewhere. She did this and it helped me no end!

 

I knew that it would be hard to eat in public exactly what I wanted, which isn’t necessarily the norm, so I told those people around me that I ate with or when I went out for dinner. That yes I was going to eat differently, because I had to for my health. It isn’t a taboo trying to lose weight, but often people don’t like to admit that is their goal and so shy away from looking different from everyone else. Be proud in what you are trying/going to achieve, we all have struggles in life, but everyone has different difficulties to work past.

 

I’m not here to preach and I’m not here to tell people the right way, I’m here to suggest things that I have learnt over time. My ultimate aim is to help, so get in touch if you think I can help you.

 

Thanks for Reading

 

Holly x

Getting Back to Reality: Severe Depression

Some of you will have noticed, that I have been a bit absent from writing my blog. In fact I haven't written on here since July 2015. This is for a mixture of different reasons, however the main one is that in 2015 I suffered with Severe Depression. I didn't realise that it had taken hold of me, until I was too late, but I would say I was suffering since March 2015 at the earliest.


Many people have asked me the reasons for my depression, but this time there was no ONE trigger. It was a mixture of different factors:


- Stress at work
- Stress outside work
- Working two jobs
- Fitness targets not going to plan, because of above stress
- Etc
- Etc


During my depression, I did do a bit of writing, just brief bits, but I want to be clear and honest about how I felt and this is the best way to do it:


'Life is meant to come easy! Life is meant to be yours, I don't feel in control'


'Binging on food and wine is what I do, making excuses for myself, telling myself 'It's Normal', everyone enjoys a glass or two at night......every night....??? To relax.....??? To stop you thinking.....??? To stop you hating yourself.....???'


'My heart is beating so fast, as I speed toward London Liverpool Street, it almost feels like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I feel sick, headachy and as if at any minute I could cry.


2 months off work, with Severe Depression. Little to no sleep. Anxiety levels through the roof. It is no wonder I'm feeling like the above. It's not the unprofessional perception I want to portray, but it is how I feel.


I feel like a tiny little animal, scared, frightened and not sure what to do. I want to run back home and dive under the covers in bed, stay there for the next month.


Now I'm shaking, I can barely write this. This doesn't feel like me, I'm confident, strong and happy.... I feel like they have abandoned me. I'm on my own and lonely without them.


People with depression often feel alone and lonely. They can feel like this with close family and friends all around them and supporting them. It isn't an alone/lonely lack of human companionship for me. For me it is my strength, confidence and happiness that are gone... And I can't find it - I don't know how to find it.'


'The over eating has got to stop. Now and since it started there hasn't been an excuse. I've been depressed and I have been sabotaging a lot of my hard work to lose 5 stone! It breaks my heart, that all that determination and strength I worked so hard to obtain and sustain has fallen by the wayside to this disease!'


This was where my brain was, now I'm in a much better place. I took the time off work needed to recover and get myself in a better place. I took the medication that the doctors told me to take. I went to counselling sessions and did everything they told me to do.


Now I'm positive, I've drawn a line under last year and started a fresh this year.


I am DETERMINED
I am STRONG
I do DESERVE THIS


More blogs to come, got lots to write about :)


Thank for reading
Holly