Know Yourself to Make a Change

A key to a lot of things in life, is to know yourself. To make life decisions, stick to decisions and stay strong. You have to start listening to yourself and know yourself. Unfortunately, for some of us (I’d say a lot of us), we stopped listening to ourselves a long time ago.

Listening to your body and your brain, what is your heart telling you versus what you brain is telling you. One of them will take control, but you control them both. You are in control of your actions and your choices. I know that life can get in the way, kids, work, family, partners, etc. But you are fundamentally in control of where your life should go and therefore, have the ability to change things.

Start asking yourself some questions (even write them down if that helps): 

• What do you like doing (YOU, not your friends, family, partner, kids, etc)?
• What do you eat when no one is looking? How much?
• What do you eat like in front of people?
• When do you eat sweet things?
• When do you reach for crisps?
• What gets you out of bed (Yes, life is a reason to get out of bed, but work in itself, isn’t necessarily right. If you didn’t have work, kids, time constraints, etc; what would get you out of bed)?

This might be easier...

• What don’t you like?? 
• What would you hate to do for work?
• What is your idea of an awful holiday/break?

These are some of the types of questions you have to ask yourself, which help you to know yourself, and possible help you towards knowing where you struggle with things. To know your weaknesses, where you ‘fail’, and admitting that to yourself, is very powerful and is easily swept under the carpet, when thinking about day to day life.

Sometimes it is a hard thing to admit or confirm, even just to yourself. But it is worthwhile trying to find out what makes you tick and what doesn’t make you tick.

Listen to yourself, your body will tell you different things from your brain. Your brain is so busy, it often turns off the body listening function and you just carry on living busy and getting on with life, never truly listening to your body and what it is trying to tell you.

I’ve written about this before, but a key one for me, is dehydration and your body trying to tell your brain to get you some water:

1. It tells your body one way, dry throat maybe, but you’re busy so switch that off.
2. So it tries again, by telling your brain you’re hungry, but again you’re busy so switch that off.
3. How about, feel a bit dizzy at times, nope I haven’t got time, this report needs submitting by 5pm.
4. Ok says your body, I’m now going to give you a headache – mmmm odd I have a headache, better take some tablets with a splash of water.... hurrah water, but not nearly enough. I could go on and on with examples, but I won’t.

This is just an example about water, but we all do this for loads of things. I don’t like my job (hate it even), so we tell ourselves this, but then say ‘yeah, but it pays the bills’, or ‘yeah, but I like the people I work with’, or ‘yeah, but what else would I do?’. Very valid reasoning’s not to quit your job, but surely the sign that you hate your job, is enough to make your brain/body do something about it; research new jobs, train in something new part time or flexibly, etc. I’m just as guilty as anyone with this, in the past.

Moving this into weight loss and fitness; making that first step is hard, finding the time is hard, aching is hard, not getting results straight away, is hard. But YOU are totally worth it and need to find what WORKS for YOU!

 

Ask for support

 

Support has been fundamental in my weight loss experience. You have to pick those people around you carefully, that you confide in and ask to support you. I didn’t tell everyone, but gradually everyone found out, by seeing results, going with me to dinner, etc.

 

Knowing myself (from exploring questions like the above), I knew that if there were things in the house I was trying to avoid (e.g. Chocolate), I would eat it! I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. So I asked my sister, not to stop it coming in the house, but if she had some, not let me know about it and hide it somewhere. She did this and it helped me no end!

 

I knew that it would be hard to eat in public exactly what I wanted, which isn’t necessarily the norm, so I told those people around me that I ate with or when I went out for dinner. That yes I was going to eat differently, because I had to for my health. It isn’t a taboo trying to lose weight, but often people don’t like to admit that is their goal and so shy away from looking different from everyone else. Be proud in what you are trying/going to achieve, we all have struggles in life, but everyone has different difficulties to work past.

 

I’m not here to preach and I’m not here to tell people the right way, I’m here to suggest things that I have learnt over time. My ultimate aim is to help, so get in touch if you think I can help you.

 

Thanks for Reading

 

Holly x

Goals & Rewards

When I speak to family and friends about how they treat themselves, I have noticed a very unsurprising trend. We all treat ourselves with food and/or drink. This doesn't surprise any of you I'm sure and didn't surprise me. We are slaves to what we want and fancy, therefore anytime we think we have done something that deserves a treat, that is what we lean on: Chocolate / Wine / Pizza / Crisps / Etc / Etc.

I have also noticed that from personal experience and from speaking to others, that we also think we deserve a reward all the time; for getting up, for going to work, for getting to lunch time, end of day, through the traffic.   Treat : Treat : Treat

We need to try and understand the good behaviour and reward systems that we, individually work best with. You do not deserve a treat, for every single little piece of life that you get through, those treats become nothing, they become habit and they no longer give you that good feeling that you used to get, when they were in fact occasional treats.

Looking at this through the lens of trying to lose weight, which I know so many of you reading this, are trying to do. We need to find goals first and then establish non food related rewards, which make you feel like you have achieved something, which you will have done if you reach that goal.

GOALS

I'm sure we have all heard of setting yourself SMART goals, well this is because that is the best way of setting goals, however I like to look at it in a slightly different way, rather than going through each letter and assigning things to them.

a) What is your overall goal (lose 2 stone)
b) What is a 'healthy' timescale to achieve that (1lb a week)
c) Therefore, how long will it take to get to that goal (28 weeks/7 months)

I would also very much recommend, having non weight related goals. Maybe reduce waist size by 4 inches, for example would be a great goal to have.

Once you have this overall goal, you can then set yourself interim goals, times in the next 7 months, where you can celebrate your progress towards your overall goal. Some would say, getting there would feel good enough, I don't need other goals or rewards, as feeling better will be a reward in itself. Yes this is true, but you can sometimes in-counter times when you can't feel/see the health benefits or results right away and therefore, get disheartened.

So, I would recommend have a reward every 4-6 weeks, on route to that overall goal which you will achieve in 7 months. To make it nice points to celebrate yourself and also for help pay day wise!

SETTING REWARDS

You have your overall goal, date you can healthily achieve that and your interim goals to get you to that overall goal. Now to set the rewards for the interim and overall goal. When I was thinking about this myself, I thought about the big end result first, what is a big thing I could buy/organise which would really mean something to me. Yes losing weight should be a good enough reward and trust me it is, but why not give yourself something else to look forward to as well!!

REMEMBER - DO NOT SET FOOD RELATED REWARDS!!!!! Your body and mind deserve not to be treated with the stuff that actually makes you feel and look like you don't want in the first place!

1. Set your overall goal reward
2. Set your interim goal rewards

I did this by making a list of non food related rewards:

- Massage
- Cinema Trip
- Flowers
- Spa Day
- Clothes
- Trainers
- Shoes
- Etc

There are loads of lists online, use them and take the ones you like. Then assign the biggest ones at the end of your journey, the not so big ones at the start of your journey.

SIMPLES!

Here is an example of a goals/rewards list.

I saw an amazing idea online the other day, to try and inspire/motivate you through your journey to your goal. It is a weight lose money jar, a jar set aside at home, and every time you lost a pound, you put a pound in the jar. The money can go toward your overall reward, or anything you want! Some people put more money in, to put the stakes up, but I love this idea either way, just put in what you can afford...

Thanks for reading :)
Holly